Unconditional Support: That's what we'd all like, yes? This means that I don't judge you, whether you choose to have an epidural, your grandmother, or want to be alone with your husband or partner.

Unconditional support means that I am there to do what is best for you, and what you want.

"Support" means I run for water (don't neglect your water!), I ask unwanted people to leave, I catch your vomit, I help you to the toilet. It means I remind you of your preferences discussed in pre-natal visits. It means I let you make your own decisions about choices during birth. It can mean I interpret the things the doctor or nurse has said, and can help you understand what they mean to you. I listen to you. I want the best birth possible FOR YOU. There is no what "I think" the best birth is for you. Support means I help you find your strengths and options so you can help yourself.

I am not there to choose for you. I am there to help you learn what choices there are to make. And support you in making them.

Support also comes for your husband or partner.Many new fathers are shy when they get into the birth room. It can be a very intimidating place, with all the people coming in and out, the machines, and their favorite person squirming around on a bed in a hospital gown. They've got no more experience than you, and yet they are expected to play a supporting role in this big event. That's how I support dads and other partners. I let them know everything is normal and fine. You're a super woman. Support for them means knowing it's okay to touch you, or not to. It can mean being praised for the words they use when you're pushing, or me saying, "go a little softer" when they are suddenly, nervously vigorously massaging your arm. It means, in long labors, that they can take a nap, or go for food and drink, make a phone call, take a deep breath. It means they dance with you, and they massage you, and they KNOW that you are okay, and they are doing a good job. (Which for men is a very big deal, right?) Support for partners can be just as important as it is for mom. Partners feel safe, knowledgeable, and able. That makes them better able to help mom, too.